Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Wiping Tears

When i was a kid, i wasn't really close to my father. Abah. Abah was sometimes a stranger to me. I didn't really know him and didn't spend so much time with him. I still remember when i was five or six, i told abah that i couldn't find my favourite sandal and i might had lost it. I asked abah to buy me a pair of new sandal but exactly like the lost one. Abah said to me that i should had looked after my things properly and taken care of them. I was really dissappointed and kept thinking about the lost sandal. One day, during a ride to a town from my house with my mother, i found that sandal under the front passenger seat. I was really happy to see that sandal again. When we went back home from the town, before my mother fully pulled over the car in my house's front yard, i opened the front passenger door of the car and jumped excitedly to show the sandal to abah. During that action, abah was right standing in the yard looking straight to the car. I just opened my mouth to shout to him that i had found my sandal and suddenly abah shouted to me, mad about my action jumped out from the car while it was moving. Abah said it was a lunatic act and i might had hurt myself and warned me to never again do that stupid action. My mother said nothing and told me to get inside the house. I was extremely dissapointed and sad because it wasn't my intention in the first place to hurt myself. I was over excited to show abah the sandal. I hoped that abah would be happy about my finding and probably laugh away about my 'love' to that sandal. At the end, i was scolded like i have done something really bad. I don't really remember what i did after that but i am sure that i ran to the most front of the yard and threw the sandal into the drain. I stared at the sandal until the image of the sandal fading slowly from my eyes because tears started came out and blinded my sight. I was sobbing madly when abah came to me, kneed beside me and wiped my face with his own shirt. Abah told me that he was mad because he loved me. I did not understand the love abah talked about. You scold and mad at someone and it means love? But at that moment, i was sure my father loved me because he dried my tears with his own shirt.